The Zombornography Apocalypse

The prophets use fear to keep men away from pornography.

"Avoid pornography as you would a plague." -Gordon B. Hinckley

"Today we have a rebirth of ancient Sodom and Gomorrah." -Thomas S. Monson. (Referring to pornography.)

"Pornography, though billed by Satan as entertainment, is a deeply poisonous, deceptive snake that lies coiled up in magazines, the Internet, and television." (He describes pornography as a snakebite that spiritually poisons you, then continues...) "Sexual sins are among the most poisonous." -David E. Sorensen.

"Pornography is overpoweringly addictive and severely damaging." -Richard G. Scott.

"Stay away from pornography as you would avoid a serious disease. It is as destructive." -Gordan B. Hinckley

"Pornography is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful." -Gordon B. Hinckley

"There appears before us in this generation a sinister and diabolical enemy-- Pornography... [It is] the carrier of a deadly disease... The constant march of pornography blights neighborhoods just as it contaminates human lives. It has just about destroyed some areas. It moves relentlessly closer to your city, your neighborhood, and your family." -Thomas S. Monson

The fear tactics used here are astonishing. It sounds more like they are describing a zombie apocalypse than anything else. I am not saying the prophets are not correct, surely pornography is a problem, just as they are suggesting. I simply wonder if the tactics they use are effective. Because it seems as though the problem of pornography is just getting worse and worse. It makes one wonder- perhaps if saying the same kinds of things over and over again in every conference is not working, then a change in methods is necessary. Telling people they are infected with a disease gives them a terrifying, hopeless view of themselves, and instead of seeking help they may just give up. They also become terribly ashamed and hateful towards themselves, which does not help break the cycle of pornography use one bit. In fact, shame may be a key contributer to the cycle. I am not assuming any authority on the subject, and I will not propose what the new tactic should be, but it seems to me that if you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. If the brethren keep teaching this the way they do, the results will be the same. Clearly the root of the problem is not that men are irresponsible, fearless, careless, and want to eat, drink and be merry. Otherwise, describing the diabolical dangers of an action might have an effect. I think men know it's wrong, they know it's destructive, they know they have a great responsibility to their families, they care so much that it eats them alive, and they want to please God. They get the point. But pornography still has a hold over them, suggesting that the root of the problem lies elsewhere. Perhaps pornography gains such an iron grip on men because of how terrified they are of it. Perhaps the huge dose of adrenaline and cortisol they receive when they slip, due to how ashamed and evil they feel, actually reinforces the addiction with those chemicals so powerfully that it becomes ridiculously difficult to overcome. Perhaps a better coarse of action for the church to take would be, instead of instilling extreme fear of pornography use into men, they concentrate on fear release, on letting go, on self empowerment and self-esteem, assuring that such material is not as powerful as the human mind, will, body, or spirit.

I have had experience with the effects that a pornography addiction can have on relationships, even after the addiction is overcome. The effects can indeed be serious, but perhaps not for the reasons most people suppose. I had been dating a young man for over a year when I found out he used to have a pornography addiction. It threw a wrench into our relationship. Also, some of my close family members' marriages were damaged when they discovered their husbands had current pornography habits. I believe most people think pornography hurts relationships because it makes the man into a bad companion. This is certainly the case sometimes, if the addiction is uncontrolled and extremely advanced. But I think that pornography hurts relationships most of the time because of how the women respond to it, having been raised to view it as the most destructive infection on earth. It upset the relationships in my family, but not because the man was disrespectful, or distant, or unkind, or inappropriate, or not gentle. It ruined everything because the women (myself included) suddenly saw their man as an irreparable, diseased, weak, partaker of Satan's very own intellectual property, a disgusting porn-looker. Since we believed it had destroyed and poisoned the minds of our sweethearts, we couldn't let it go. We wondered, “How does this poisoned mind see me, after looking at porn? How can I appear beautiful to him? How can I ever be close to this infected man again? How can he be a good father after witnessing the most family-destroying material on earth?” In my case, I felt like running away and completely erasing my relationship. I distanced myself and looked at him differently, with judging eyes. In the case of my family members, they made actual plans to leave their husbands and rip apart their families, when their husbands had been nothing but good fathers, lovers, and providers. Certain that the men were plagued by Satan, the women did nearly all the work of destroying their relationships. So yes, the brethren are completely correct when they say that pornography is the cause for broken families. But we are the ones doing the breaking. We are the ones who are letting pornography have so much power and influence over us. We are leaving good men, distancing ourselves from our spouses, making decisions based on fear, becoming obsessed and scared, perseverating on our thoughts, quarantining the “infected,” flooding ourselves with shame and guilt, on the premises that pictures are more powerful than people, that sexual feelings are nearly as evil as murder, and that what you look at determines your worth as a human being, rather than whether or not you are Christlike in the treatment of those around you.