the stream of my conscious

I wrote this during seminary one day when the lesson was dragging on and I had a lot of thoughts going through my head... (Notice how many sentences there are)




I want to write some poetry now using train of thought writing I don't know what to think or how to get there but I may believe nothing whatsoever in my life I don't no, I can't remember the good so shall I go on dreaming without knowing the outcome or reasons or anything worthwhile I guess I'll just save my thoughts from myself who is not anyone real, but a piece of a dream blown out of proportion while reality lingers just below the surface and so many waves fly in and out that it is completely lost from anyone’s conscious mind who has any importance in the world the lines diverge a million times per second that how could any person or group of people claim they are intelligent enough to find the one line but who cares all we do is sit in classrooms our whole lives nothing ever actually happens but our brain cells have gotten so out of whack big that we can't help but find and search for something that isn't there, but may be there, but our dreams warp anything so intensely that a dog becomes a great and powerful k-9 master of the universe, and the master of the universe is now an anxiety attack that makes my legs move and makes my heart beat and opens my tear ducts and fills my lungs and I want to scream with only good things so stop trying to imagine anything concrete or you'll F it all up and become deceived by your own active mind and forget what your body is doing remember you are sitting in a class room doing nothing nothing is happening nothing is changing anything that matters just sit. Your future is so far away it is lost stop thinking you know it's just a bunch of threads that haven't been tied together yet stop wandering too far ahead, look at where your sitting choose to believe what opens your tears don't harden anything yet just wait something might not be happening now but something will have to happen and then the story will have started and you'll take the role of the main character, because that IS what you are, you’re the protagonist in vetro so even if all others feel like the center you are the center of your center no you are not that feels wrong how can I be the center with everyone else thinking they are the center too there is only one center and none of us are in it there is only one and that is why were so obsessed with religion as human beings cause we feel the need to be the main character or else despair, and the closer you are to the main character the more important of a character you feel like we are all selfish but that is natural and good and right and expected so don't suppress it embrace it.