"I will wait"

I will wait, I thought. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to change your mind. Eventually, you'll realize. You'll realize that you've never felt anything like what you felt with me. You'll remember the things I told you, like that you made humanity beautiful. You'll try and be close to others, and you'll see that it's pale and weak. You'll commit to someone and you won't bare your soul. Your mind won't be understood. They won't ever love you as much as I did. I will wait until you realize. I will have faith that it felt special for a reason. That I couldn't care so much about you if it wasn't meant to be an amazing, nail-biting story.

Please don't wait for me, I thought. I can't have your guilt around the corners of my eyes while I explore. I will hurt you. But I don't want to. Your devotion frightens me. Your certainty makes me uncertain. Since I can have you whenever I want, I can't want you. Even though I want to. I'd like to try, to test the waters. But if I do, I fear you'll pull me in, past the point of no return. I hide away so I won't drown. I need to breathe. Don't wait until I change my mind. I won't. You're not my story.