problem. trapped.

I have a problem. And it came with the realization that although I love my personal religious beliefs and relationship with God, I don't like the mormon church. I think this is how satan's gunna try to get me.

I need to get out of Utah. I think that if I was away from the masses of mormons my testimony would grow. I'm tired of never having to stand up for what I believe in. How can you really be passionate and really belive in something you never have to stand up for. I think that I would begin to see this religion clearer, and miss it instead of being gosh dang open my throat and puke sick of it.



Wow. I am really trapped. I'm trapped in high school where i'm treated as though I were a 3 year old who is incappable of making decisions. Please. Kill the attendance policy. Let me have a LITTLE dignity.
I'm trapped in a house with everyone is gone but me and the parents, and I can't drive, and I don't have a car, and I have to be towed around by someone else everywhere I go.
I'm trapped in a religion- no, i'm fine with the religion itself- I'm trapped by religious people everywhere around me who don't even try to turn there brains on and think, and they expect me to do the same.
I'm trapped by Parents who suddenly have decided to knuckle down at the WORST possible moment in my life. Parents who shove religion down my throat when I already what to puke it all up. Parents who ground me for a week for skipping one hour of church. They don't understand that to make this religion any more restrictive then it already is, is what is going to push me over the edge. They are deathly afraid that I will go innactive and start acting like Brian. So their brilliant parenting plan is to disciplining me into loving the gospel. "Ground her for a week! that should do the trick! She'll LOVE being a mormon!" I can't describe to you how insulting it is that they thought they had to PUNISH me like a naughty little 8 year old who was burning grass in the backyard. Unlike the 8 year old, I WON'T do it again if you tell me not to.